help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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