I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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