Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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