My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
