You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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