"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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