Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize