Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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