No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Why is your signature on my underwear?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize