The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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