hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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