My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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