two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
operation have a gay friend backfired
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
