just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
