You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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