So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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