ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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