and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
