What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
