Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
