did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
