Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
