Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
