Swine flu is the new snow day.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
