remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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