Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
