brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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