if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I think my moral compass just broke
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
