Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
