I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
