Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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