hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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