redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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