I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
