are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
