It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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