she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
