And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
