She is in my trunk
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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