my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize