i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
