guys are not supposed to queef...right?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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