R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
