i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
