I need help removing her.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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