I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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