i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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