You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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