No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
