So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
