I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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