I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
