so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
