omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
