she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
