I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
one might say we're banned from that church
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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