The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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