Say something about gay babies.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
