Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
