Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize