Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
