We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize