dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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