I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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