Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
