When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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