he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Less talking, more tequila
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
