if you like me you must not know who I am
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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